The TinaLu Show - March 23rd, 2005
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11:16 am
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Thank God for friends...
...For REAL FRIENDS. The kind that understand. The kind that support. The kind that make you believe that everything is OK with the world. The kind that just make you feel whole. The kind that you can talk to for hours about absolutely nothing and come away feeling like you've really accomplished something?
Excerpt from a thought provoking IM convo from this AM:
(Used with permission, OF COURSE... names/places have been changed to protect the innocent.)
friend says:
morning ms lu
TinaLu says:
morning senor
friend says:
que pasa?
TinaLu says:
nada
TinaLu says:
y tu?
friend says:
i quit smoking
friend says:
thats about it
TinaLu says:
YEAH???
TinaLu says:
GOOD FOR YOU!
friend says:
yea it sucks
friend says:
heheh
friend says:
i've just been really restless lately, and not because of the smoking
TinaLu says:
restless like... how?
TinaLu says:
Tired of where you are in life?
friend says:
yes
TinaLu says:
what?
friend says:
want the long story?
friend says:
heheh
TinaLu says:
what's wrong honey?
TinaLu says:
sure
TinaLu says:
I love stories
friend says:
well, i'm teaching this semester, which is really good for me, photo
is my life and what I went to grad school for ... but it really makes
me hate my day job (computer geek basically) -- and the fact that I
sacrificed my job search for my ex-wife because she had her dream job
here in st. louis
friend says:
so now of course, i'm not married
friend says:
and have started looking for jobs
friend says:
and the band is another issue
friend says:
i got my passport renewed too
friend says:
i just feel like GOING
friend says:
restless
friend says:
BUT
friend says:
i've moved around my whole life, i have friends here etc.
friend says:
so i'm also kind of stuck, emotionally
friend says:
what should I do doctor?
TinaLu says:
Just stay
friend says:
ok .... why?
TinaLu says:
Cuz just like you said... you have friends
TinaLu says:
You can make a job change here
TinaLu says:
You just "got back on your feet" emotionally
friend says:
i cant get a full time photo teaching job here
friend says:
there are none
TinaLu says:
If you move, you'll have to start ALL OVER
TinaLu says:
right?
friend says:
i'm good at that
TinaLu says:
I don't know... I'm not in your shoes, hon
TinaLu says:
And that's what you wanna do, bar none?
TinaLu says:
Off Topic: Dear Photographer,
friend says:
hehe
TinaLu says:
I've been wanting someone, although I had no clue until just this second, to take some photos for me
TinaLu says:
I need black and white
TinaLu says:
I want OLD looking
TinaLu says:
like... 30's & 40's movie stars
friend says:
thats my thing
friend says:
we can do that
TinaLu says:
Lana Turner
TinaLu says:
Maybe even remake some old Marilyn pics, etc
TinaLu says:
I wanna be a pin up girl! (A fully CLOTHED pin up girl, lol)
TinaLu says:
I need to find someone to do the hair and makeup, but I've been
thinking about this for like a couple years now
friend says:
i have use of a shooting studio here at WashU
friend says:
and we can do some location stuff too around town
TinaLu says:
If you know anyone who does hair and/or makeup... hook a sister up
friend says:
i will ask around
TinaLu says:
This will be SO FUN!
friend says:
YOU dont know a makeup person?????
friend says:
all the hair bands you know?
friend says:
heheh
TinaLu says:
*I* do makeup... I love makeup, but it has to be done a tad diff for
B&W and I want the eyelashes, the drawn on eyebrows, the dark
lipstick... just like the old screen sirens
friend says:
well if i ask around for makeup people .. like for a timeline .. how
long are we talking?
TinaLu says:
Sometime... end of this summer?
friend says:
END OF SUMMER? I thought you meant like next month, heheh
friend says:
of course NOBODY EVER sends me any new pics
friend says:
just fuzzy camera phone stuff
TinaLu says:
I took a few with the camera phone this weekend too, lol
TinaLu says:
I was having a good hair/makeup night... had to be
documented... ya know? LOL
TinaLu says:
chicks DO that shit
friend says:
so send them
friend says:
chicks rule
friend says:
nobody has more photos of themselves than I do
friend says:
believe me
friend says:
btw, i'm working on updating my photo website so i'll show it to you
when its better looking
TinaLu says:
Deal.
TinaLu says:
Hold on a sec
TinaLu says:
which email addy? hotmail?
friend says:
na
friend says:
friend@friendsemailaddress.com
TinaLu says:
shit... most of them are gone?
TinaLu says:
I still have my favorite.
TinaLu says:
looks like a Pantene shampoo commercial or some shit
friend says:
gone?
TinaLu says:
*still looking*
TinaLu says:
One sent
friend says:
thats from your camera phone?
TinaLu says:
Yep
friend says:
pretty cool pic from a phone
TinaLu says:
it's set to the highest resolution, lol
friend says:
camera phones are an interesting photographic aesthetic
friend says:
oh by the way
friend says:
you look really lovely
friend says:
i like to compliment you because, well, they are deserved ... but i
also feel like you probably get tired of people telling you how beautiful
you are .. or can one ever tire of that? I have no idea.
TinaLu says:
that's an odd one...
TinaLu says:
I don't get tired of hearing it, but not because I believe it
TinaLu says:
I have my own set of issues over here
friend says:)
what do you mean?
friend says:
self-esteem / image issues, that kind of thing, or men issues?
TinaLu says:
When I look in the mirror, I still see the WAY TOO SKINNY, tom boy,
with the jacked teeth
TinaLu says:
the only thing I can compare it to is how anorexics must feel when
they look in the mirror and see fat
TinaLu says:
so yeah... like... self-esteem / image issues, that kind of thing
friend says:
i can understand that
TinaLu says:
I realize that it sounds a bit irrational, but... *shrugging* I've
never been a rational kinda girl
friend says:
sometimes in my mirror i still see the alcoholic / drug abusing /
depressed / suicidal kid that i once was
friend says:
its not irrational at all
friend says:
i totally understand what you mean
TinaLu says:
WOW.... I'm glad someone does
TinaLu says:
i mean really... people say all kinds of shit about how I look, and
I try to be thankful, but most of the time... I honestly just don'
TinaLu says:
don't get it
friend says:
what part dont you get? what they are saying or their motives for
saying it
TinaLu says:
It's like that person is still in there, and I can make the outside
look different, but the person I used to be, the person that feels all
insecure about how they look is the person that's always staring back
from the mirror
TinaLu says:
what they're saying
TinaLu says:
fuck motives... I don't fall for that shit
friend says:
I really understand that, and in fact experienced the same thing
when I cut my hair ... my hair was really a security blanket for me, a
place to hide .. that may sound silly, but losing it exposes me, my
face, to the world -- and to myself
friend says:
i guess i've made progress because i'm pretty happy with the guy who
was under there
friend says:
although i can see more of the younger me too, and there is some
scary stuff still there .. i've never thought i was particularly
good looking or anything, so i just grew the hair for attention too
friend says:
its sad really that our culture focuses so much on the outside, the
physical and we are kind of taught to hide behind the ruse, that
everything will be ok if we make our outsides look good
TinaLu says:
No shit...
TinaLu says:
I keep working on the outside, but what about the fruitcake that's
still in there? what about her? LOL
friend says:
thats one thing i've always like about you .. you've always had
great conversations with me and share the inside tidbits too
friend says:
i dunno, what about her? i like talking to her
TinaLu says:
I have nothing to hide
friend says:
unless i'm talking to the hot chick?
TinaLu says:
LOL
friend says:
there is no separation Tina
friend says:
look at it this way ... that insecure girl inside adds to your
beauty .. you would act differently if you weren't who you were and
that would affect how people perceive yoiu
TinaLu says:
It's always the skinny little tom boy with the jacked teeth who just
happens to look better now... it's all the same anymore, or... at least
I've been trying to merge them
friend says:
i dont think you know what a rare breed you are really ...
attractive and extremely sweet and smart ..
friend says:
i like that old photo of you on myspace
TinaLu says:
the big hair? LOL
TinaLu says:
notice the closed mouth smile? jacked teeth
friend says:
reminds me SO much of growing up ... how we ALL looked different
(funny) then and grew into ourselves
friend says:
you should see pics of me ... hehe
TinaLu says:
I'm sure you were cute
TinaLu says:
Hey... I might use excerpts of this convo in a blog, names will be
omitted to protect the innocent
TinaLu says:
it's right up the alley of some shit I was gonna blog about anyway
friend says:
not a problem
friend says:
i'm innocent?
friend says:
heheh
friend says:
thanks!
TinaLu says:
I'm sure there's SOMETHING innocent left about you
friend says:
there's plenty
friend says:
like my sense of wonder
friend says:
my romanticism
friend says:
optimism in the face of despair
friend says:
want me to send you an old pic?
TinaLu says:
Sure.... it makes me happy that you even HAVE a sense of wonder,
along with the romanticism
TinaLu says:
most ppl don't, ya know?
friend says:
really?
TinaLu says:
not even close
friend says:
i guess you're right
TinaLu says: (10:04:17)
I dream/think too much
friend says:
NO SUCH THING as TOO MUCH
TinaLu says:
and most of the stuff I say I wanna do or that I'm going to do... I
KNOW I never will... but it's still fun to say
friend says:
dont ever say that to me again! heheh
TinaLu says:
My ex?
friend says:
?
TinaLu says:
HATED the fact that I even brought shit like that up
friend:
thats why he's your ex
TinaLu says:
"Why do you even say shit like that? You know you'll never do it"
friend says:
oh wow
TinaLu says:
"That's stupid"
friend says:
i'm glad you're not with him
TinaLu says:
I sent him on a valentines day scavenger hunt once
TinaLu says:
He hated it
TinaLu says:
He had NO sense of wonder OR romanticism
friend says:
he's probably not a very happy person either
TinaLu says:
He's not
TinaLu says:
and he made me into an unhappy person as well (which is why I had to get OUT)
friend says:
i mean i'm the first to admit ... i dream a LOT, and some of the
things wont get done because i cant possibly do all the things i dream
up ... but i journal them and sometimes the meld together into
wonderful projects and ideas .. i cannot stop my mind from working the
way it does
friend says:
so i say to you
friend says:
"thats a fucking great idea ... try it!"
TinaLu says:
awwww
friend says:
i mean really ... what good is being alive if we don't try what our
minds dream up? someone has to, or we'd still be living in caves ....
and personally, i'd go crazy if i didnt allow my brain to resolve some
its ideas
TinaLu says:
Exactly
friend says:
so feel free to bounce any ideas off me at any time .. i promise i
will NEVER tell you something is stupid .. i have experienced that
myself and know the feeling
friend says:
plus, honestly, i dont think most ideas are stupid
friend says:
except ones that the Bush Administration comes up with
friend says:
i think thats why i'm a good teacher ... a lot of students are used
to professors telling them whats wrong with their work
TinaLu says:
LOL
TinaLu says:
gotcha
friend says:
i have a good knack for allowing them to work things out, to come to
a good conclusion no matter what the idea
TinaLu says:
you tell them what's right about it and let them go from there?
friend says:
i've never told a student their work/ideas are stupid or wrong
friend says:
well ... i do that, and if there is a disconnect between what they
wanted to show, and what I actually see, i help them bridge the gap
friend says:
sometimes they have an idea but have trouble realizing it
TinaLu says:
Good for you
friend says:
i mean, so do I, thats art
friend says:
i talk a lot about myself, i apologize
friend says:
character defect
friend says:
especially in chat / writing
TinaLu says:
I don't mind
TinaLu says:
I have a hard time talking, PERIOD
TinaLu says:
so it all evens out
friend says:
hmm?
friend says:
girl ... you're alwasy talking to me
friend says:
dont even try to act shy
TinaLu says:
Yeah, but like... in person
TinaLu says:
I don't talk....
TinaLu says:
... much.
TinaLu says:
haha
TinaLu says:
Got the pic... AWWWW, you were cute! Just a younger version of the
face you have now
friend says:
HAHAHHH
friend says:
NO dont say that
friend says:
look at me! so ..... ugh, i dunno
friend says:
awkward!
TinaLu says:
Excuse me... did ya SEE the big hair pic?... I got your awkward!
friend says:
heheeheh
friend says:
i wish leg warmers would come back
friend says:
i loved that shit
Current Mood:  geeky
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12:25 pm
[Link] |
MySpace is like comedy... minus the funny.
IF YOU'RE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO:
1) Only looks at people's pictures here... Please don't add me.
2) Only bothers to read bits and pieces of peoples' profiles only to make up and/or assume the rest as you see fit... Please don't add me.
3) Believes that the photo of the chick fondling herself is really me... Please don't add me.
4) Will be pissed because I never email back or wander over to your profile to leave a comment... Please don't add me.
HOW TO GET BLOCKED: (chronologically read from bottom to top)
**blocked**
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: )=((0))=(*ADAM*)=((0))=(
Mar 14, 2005 8:06 AM
Body: hahah just slut it up ok? get them a new daddy right ;) sexxxy
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: TinaLu
Date: Mar 14, 2005 4:28 AM
You're a dumbass. It says PROUD PARENT in my profile. Don't be pissed at me because YOU don't pay attention.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: )=((0))=(*ADAM*)=((0))=(
Date: Mar 12, 2005 12:25 PM
hah you can seriously save it. I can see you don't say at all that you've a child, go figure? Not anywhere to be honest, sounds like the guys won't be writing that much then eh? Or you just not happy about it.
Either way, it's really no matter to me, I dont know why you had to tell me all that, when you really don't state any of it on your profile. THEN you have the nerve to state that you won't talk to people unless you can figure them out by their profile?! hah come on.. enough said.. please leave me alone, I'm tired of these middle-aged cam whores that get off on the attention. Hah I lived in vegas for a long time, they all look the same.
enjoy!
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: TinaLu
Date: Mar 12, 2005 8:22 AM
If it wasn't THAT so much then come out and say whatever it is that you're wanting to say, don't deflect conversation in another direction. I'm not ignoring anyone. I work 60 hours a week, and I'm a full time mom. I read everything that ppl send me, but don't have the time to reply to EVERYTHING. And fuck not being hot enough... have you seen some of the ppl on my friends list?
Truth is... I don't even know you. It specifically states in my profile that I suck when it comes to writing people back - so how you've come to the conclusion that I'm ignoring you because you're not hot enough... I'm lost?! I never said that I was here to make all kinds of friends, I don't have that kind of time. Yeah, I've made some, but most of the ppl that I have on my list, I've either met in person, or I still do/used to keep up with them online on various message boards. This is an easy way for me to gather all my online peeps in to one place. You've already gotten more out of me than most people do. WTF dude?!?
~Lu
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: )=((0))=(*ADAM*)=((0))=(
Date: Mar 11, 2005 7:22 PM
it wasn't so much that, I believe its the ignoring someone cause they're not 'hot' enough for ya.. doesn't make much sense when you say you're here to make friends, but who knows.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: TinaLu
Date: Mar 11, 2005 4:52 PM
So now I'm a slut? LOL FYI - the photo of the chick with the boobs? That's REALLY not me. Nevermind the fact that my own mother didn't believe it. *right hand in the air* SWEAR IT. That's the ONLY pic that's remotely CLOSE to half naked, so whatever...
Have a great day,
~Lu
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: )=((0))=(*ADAM*)=((0))=(
Date: Mar 10, 2005 2:11 PM
put ya clothes on dude, easy to see you're a full blown attention cam whore so yeah.. 30?! wtf get a life already, waste no time responding to this im sure!
hah and for all the people that write you, why dont you take your half naked pics down and they guys will stop writing ;) guranteed. Enough said, slut it up in STL! hah enjoy
Current Mood:  confused
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